The dramedy of caring for a dog

Today as I was getting ready to take the puppies for their morning walk, I noticed that the box of poop bags had instructions on them.  For over a year (not to mention during the five years we had our first dog) I have been walking our pets without proper guidance from the poo bag manufacturer – perhaps I have been doing it wrong?!  Intrigued by the types of instructions that might be included on a box of poo poo bags (after all, the poop collection process seems pretty straight-forward to me), I read the 6-step (!) procedure with curiosity – and then laughed aloud.  Here is a picture of the instructions; and below, my mental commentary.  I hope you enjoy this brief break as much as my brain and I did (and still do).

dog poo bags

  1. “I like to walk my dog.”  Some mornings this statement is debatable, but for the sake of learning, I’ll agree to it for now.
  2. “My dog suddenly poo poo.”  Oh my god, dog, you just decided to poo out of the blue?  What the…that’s crazy unexpected!  And bag manufacturer, do you no speak good English?
  3. “Tear one bag off the roll.”  Okay, wait – am I supposed to carry the entire box of 200 bags with me?  But what about the statement below the instructions, telling me I should have the bags in my car/garage/porch/camper/apartment?  Those instructions don’t tell me to always keep a roll in my pockets… so what’s a person to do?  And what if I don’t have a porch or camper – can I still use the bags?  My house wasn’t listed among the places I should keep a roll of bags – does that mean the bags are not supposed to be there?  I’m so confused…
  4. “Pull the bag over my hand just like a glove.”  Are you coming on the walk with me?  No offense, but I don’t even know your name… I mean, if you want to come along and pick up my dog’s poo, that’s cool, I guess… but then I have to put the bag on your hand for you?  Do you have really crummy hand-eye coordination or something?  (And if you do have some issues with your hands, perhaps picking up dog poo actually isn’t the best role for you?)
  5. “Pick up my dog’s waste nicely.”  Wait – your dog, or my dog?  Are you bringing a dog with you on the walk I take with my dogs?  So if you are picking up your dog’s poop, who is picking up my dog’s poop?
  6. “Tie a knot in bag and dispose responsibly.”  I.e., not in flames on a neighbor’s front step.  Got it.

🙂  Stef

Advertisements

About Stef

A "serious" gal who is trying to remember to lighten up and smile.
This entry was posted in postaday and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to The dramedy of caring for a dog

  1. This is cute! With four dogs I have never actually purchased poop bags 😉 My question is: how do you pick up poop ‘nicely’? 😀

    Like

    • Stef says:

      Do you never take your dogs on walks? As for picking up poop ‘nicely’ – I imagine it means you pick it up without smooshing it and making a huge mess… 🙂

      Like

      • We reuse grocery bags for poop. I use cloth bags when I shop at the store but most of the time I have our groceries delivered and we always end up with enough to use for the small trash cans in the house plus plenty left over for poop 😉

        Like

      • Stef says:

        Ah, I see. I use plastic produce bags for poop collection (and plastic shopping bags as liners for the small trash cans around our house); but since we take the dogs for 2 walks every day, I usually run out of produce bags mid-week – and have to resort to store-bought poop bags for the remaining days until the next grocery trip occurs.

        Like

  2. yourothermotherhere says:

    Thanks for the good laugh!

    Like

  3. barb19 says:

    Hilarious – so now you know the correct way!

    Like

  4. Darn it – I’ve been doing it all wrong! 🙂

    Like

  5. The sad thing is they probably wrote that on the box after complaints of it being used wrong. 🙂 Now I know I’ve been using the correct collection techniques all of these years, I will be more confident when I take out my dog out for his afternoon walk! 🙂

    Like

    • Stef says:

      Totally; it’s like the “Warning – The coffee you are about to enjoy is incredibly hot” disclaimer that is completely silly, yet sadly necessary. But I’m glad the brief tutorial on proper poop handling methods boosted your confidence – you can now walk your pup with pride! 😉

      Like

  6. Arman says:

    this was so funny… i loved the running diatribe 🙂

    Like

  7. Touch2Touch says:

    I’m so glad to know that you — or somebody else — is picking up your dogs’ poo nicely!
    This is hilarious, Stef.

    Like

    • Stef says:

      Thanks Judith. It’s interesting how amusing some ‘common’ things in life really are – or perhaps how comical we as a society have become. 😉

      Like

Have a thought, opinion, comment? I'd love to read it!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s