Today was a tiring day. It was a very productive day (which was great!), and the hours actually passed by rather quickly (which was also good) – but at the end of it I was bleary-eyed from looking at a computer screen for the better part of 7 hours, my legs were super-tight from my sitting at a desk all day, and my mind was exhausted from the large quantities of rapid-fire processing it performed (which also wasn’t helped by the fact that I didn’t get enough sleep last night). So while today was a good GSD kind of day (GSD = get “stuff” done), at the end of it I was more than ready to go home.
I was hoping for an easy and quick commute back to my house, but alas, traffic was pretty tied up along the freeway. As I waited my turn to merge into the slow-moving procession of cars, I saw several other vehicles speed past on the too-narrow shoulder, only to force their way into the queue once they were up further in the line (in effect, doing their very best to ‘cheat’ the system). As I saw multiple people perform this selfish act, I thought to myself [in a very irritated tone], “Hey, you, driver! Don’t be a jerk-face!”
And at the moment my head processed the words that my ego had just formed, my heart jumped in to the mix and laughed. What am I, eight years old? “Jerk-face?” What’s next, not touching someone’s pencil for fear of getting “cooties”? And really, I was getting irritated over a 20-second delay? And not just mildly irritated, but honestly, rather pissed off. Over 20 whole seconds. Really? Really?!
Wow. What a silly human I can be some days. As I had this (embarrassing) moment of self-awareness, I just gently shook my head at myself, and smiled. Seriously Stef…
What is it about traffic that brings out our inner seven year olds? 🙂
I know!! I’m glad I’m not alone. 🙂
We all have days like that from time to time Stef . . .;)
Thanks Barb. I’m *very* grateful that I have an understanding and supportive community around me! 🙂
I try so hard to not let traffic/road related issues bother me. But sometimes I can’t help it. And those are the times that I find myself sticking my tongue out at obnoxious drivers. I do it almost without thinking, and just like you, Stef, I nearly always end up laughing at myself. It’s hard to screw up your face and stick out your tongue and actually be angry. 😛
Most traffic/road issues I can manage through with (relative) ease…. but it’s when people are disrespectful and/or trying to advance their own agenda at the expense of others who are trying to ‘play nice’ that I REALLY feel my heart start to pound and my face start to flush… But I like your idea of staying light with it, and not taking it all too seriously… 🙂
heh heh. It’s great when we catch ourselves being so righteous, even with reason, and can laugh. All those tightened muscles relax and life is okay again.
It’s both a relief, but also an embarrassment. But oh well; I’ll ‘suffer’ the embarrassment in order to feel the relief! 🙂
No no no no no —
It wasn’t the 20 seconds that was steaming you.
That’s your after-explanation.
It’s the UNFAIRNESS of people who won’t wait their turn, who in effect are saying, I’m better than any of you, I’m special, the hell with the rest of you, you can wait for me because I’m more important.
You know, C.S. Lewis somewhere in his writings claimed that, whatever else might or might not be present innately in people, children seemed universally (even young, even untaught) to be born with a sense of fairness.
Now granted you’re a nice big grownup person, and you can laugh over your own reaction, and brush it off in favor of equanimity and a bigger sense of priorities —
Nonetheless your first reaction is a true one. And it’s fair!!!
(Says she, who detests when this happens)
Yes, exactly. See the response I gave Nadine (deenie12) above. Yet still, the adage goes that when I throw hot coals at you, even if you deserve it, I have to burn me first. And even if the coals do hit you, they will be cooler than when I picked them up from the fire – so not only will I be burned first, but I will be burned *worse*. So in the end, the rudeness of other people and the resulting unfairness still doesn’t justify an anger response on my end – because the anger ends up hurting me too much (regardless of whether it is ‘righteous’ or not).